The second star to the right shines in the night for you

This is my second batch of film from when I went to Disneyland Paris, and it might just be my favorite. Like I said in that last post, I'm really not a photographer and I'm not interested in trying to be and because of this I'm really not a perfectionist about it. And there's so many things that I am a chronic perfectionist about that I really try and protect this carefree attitude I have towards it because it excites me like when you're a kid and you don't care about the outcome because you're just delighted by the experimentation and process. I sent these reels off to be developed professionally, and there was a mistake during the process which "ruined" the film and they were so apologetic about it. At first I was disappointed I'd lost the photos however they may have come out, until I realized that they'd been sent to me anyway and they're perfect. It's a black and white film, so to me the textures just make the photos look about 100 years old, like the kind you'd find at a flea market. It also gives me that nostalgic feeling for old social media, when we'd delibrarely add grain and frames and light leaks to digital photos to try and make them look more tangible.

Is that the magic music from beyond the laughing sky?

When I went to Disneyland Paris back in 2019 I was very conscious of how I documented my trip as it's something I've over done in the past and ruined my own time by doing so - I've been so wrapped up in getting enough photos to remember it just right, instead of simply living in that moment and soaking it up. And I guess I must have gotten the balance exactly right as it's one of the best trips I've ever had! To ease myself out of feeling like I have to photograph everything just in case, some days I took my vintage film camera with me and nothing else. There's nothing quite like knowing you've only got 30 shots and no idea how they'll turn out! I did two reels of film, one an expired color and another black and white, but due to getting ready to move and then the whole craziness of the pandemic I didn't get around to developing them until now. And honestly I'm glad I waited, as with everything that's happened since that trip has only become more important to me, and getting to see something brand new from it is so exciting.

I figured I may as well split each film up into it's own post. My camera is an Olympus OM-10 SLR, and I'd be lying if I pretended I knew much about it. I'm not a photographer, I just enjoy taking photos, so there's a lot of pressing the shutter and just blindly hoping for the best. This was the color film which was expired, and I'm obsessed with how it's given the photos a dreamy 1970s vibe.

I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

I've had such a crazy busy week, but it's been so much fun! On Monday I travelled to London to see Phantom of the Opera again, I think it's the third time this year so far? I've really been making the most of seeing my favorite shows as much as I can while I can! And it was my first time seeing the alternate Christine which made the show a little different, although it confirmed that I prefer Lucy St Louis's interpretation as I feel like it's more Leroux book accurate. But that's such a personal thing and all it comes down to, they're both perfect. There were quite a few other covers on too for various roles, it's always fun trying to spot who's stepped into which role.

And then on Thursday I travelled to Milton Keynes to see My Chemical Romance!! OMG!! I am now a Milton Keynes hate account and there were some other aspects of the day that just really brought the mood down, but I'm just so so happy that I got to see my favorite band live! I really didn't think I was going to be able to, but then other plans got delayed and there were still tickets available and it just all felt like serendipity. I got the VIP package as it was either that or the nosebleeds, so I ended up with the exclusive merch package and priority entry which meant I was 2nd row from barrier which was surreal - I was standing about 5 meters directly in front of Frank for most of the show!

I am a lonely painter, I live in a box of paints

I was determined do something a bit different in London yesterday, as I've fallen into the habit of visiting the same haunts every time I go which is getting a bit predictable. I felt like going to a gallery and picked the Tate Britain, which I didn't have very high hopes for as I found the National Gallery so incredibly dull the last time I was there, but the Tate was incredible! I loved it! They had so many famous paintings that I was really excited to see in real life, like Ophelia, and my favorite painting The Doctor which I first saw in a gallery but could never remember which to see it again. And now I know it was this one!

I've been struggling so much with my illustration work this past year and it just felt really special to feel so excited by art again, and I got some books I'm really excited about in the gift shop too. One is general advice for artists, the other is about sketchbook practice, both are no doubt full of stuff I already know but need reminding of just the same. They felt really special in my hands too, like I was supposed to find them and I'm excited about what I might learn from them.

I also saw Frozen, and it's the most I've enjoyed a show in a long time, I just felt really engaged with it. I love this show and have seen it several times now (including on Broadway), and I love it just as much if not more every time. It was the same cast as usual, with the exception of Hans who was played by the cover who was wonderful!! My biggest and really only complaint with the musical is how Hans is made out to be this plotting villain throughout, whereas this actor played him much more earnestly like he is in the movie, so I was thrilled with that (Hans is my favorite character, and I have a whole essay explaining why) His timing in the reveal scene was also so much better - he actually paused between leaning in to kiss Anna and dropping the "if only there was someone who loved you" and let that sit for a moment instead of just rushing through his lines as fast as he can 🙃 Definitely the best Hans!

Vampires will never hurt you

I think Whitby might be one of my very favorite places in the whole world. It's so beautiful and just has a vibe unlike any place I've ever been, although I admit I don't know how much of that is the Dracula stuff because I love vampires. It's a really old seaside town in Yorkshire, England, and was mostly known for it's fishing. Then Bram Stoker came along and decided that the crumbling Abbey on top of the cliff would be a great setting for a little vampire book he was writing, and ever since the town has been associated with Dracula. And I don't know if it is just the rich history of the place, but somehow it manages to do it with class instead of going the tacky route and it gives it a real atmosphere. It's easy to imagine vampires wandering the cobbled streets among the tourists.

Whitby is also famous for it's jet gemstones, which is black and only adds to the town's goth vibes. My parents used to own a gemstone shop when I was a teenager and I'd work there on weekends, and ever since then I've always been inexplicably drawn to jet. It's really a very boring stone to look at compared to the magnificence of something like opal or even bright shards of amethyst, but there's just something about it that calls me. It washes up on the beach here (although it's kind of hard to find because everyone is out treasure hunting) and the streets are full of little locally owned jewelers selling their hand crafted designs. This was my third time I've ever been to Whitby, and I buy myself a little something each time I come. I have a celtic design necklace, a ring, and this time I decided to go big and treated myself to a pendant that I felt really symbolizes the town.

Before Dracula Whitby was known for it's fishing heritage. You can see St Mary's Church on top of the cliff in the background, and the beach where Dracula's ship washed ashore.






Climbing the 199 steps up to the church and Abbey





I'd never been inside the Abbey before, and it was a lot bigger than I was expecting! It's a hundreds of years old ruin so obviously there's not much, but it's still really impressive to look around. It was founded in 657 AD, until it was raided by Danish invaders in 867 AD and left to ruin for 200 years. It was rebuilt as a Benedictine Abbey in the 1220s, until it was destroyed in 1540 due to the Protestant reforms under Henry VIII. It then sustained further damage due to German shell attacks during WWI.

The gift shop is predominantly Dracula related, and I struggled not to buy a few of those beautiful books! I couldn't resist a few bits though.


Time to look at every single black stone on the beach just in case. I did manage to find a few chunks of jet though!

Where do the clouds disappear When they go rolling by?