Throughout the night they fashioned their might with right on the side of the mighty

Although I’ve been interested in vintage for absolutely years I’ve never really been drawn to the 1940s and WWII side of it until more recently, and a lot of that new found interest is due to Eden Camp. I’ve been to this museum before, I’m pretty sure I even posted about it, but honestly it’s probably my favourite museum in the whole world and I love going whenever I can.

Eden Camp was originally a Prisoner of War camp in North Yorkshire, and has since been turned into a WWII museum. Which I know sounds super boring, it certainly did to me the first time I went, but it just frames it in a way that I’ve never seen before. I worry how amazing it is and how it makes me feel can never come across in photographs, especially as I don’t know how to get across in words the profound effect it has on me either, so you’ll just have to trust me that ITS AMAZING!! Even more so than I can describe!

Because it’s based in a former Prisoner of War camp it gives the museum an authenticity that a lot of these kinds of places usually lack, but it’s surprisingly not somber, if anything it really brings the human element to what happened instead of it seeming so detached. It’s set across the original buildings, with each hut dedicated to a different aspect of wartime life with reconstructed scenes that even smell like 1940s Britain. One minute you’re wandering through a blacked out street, the next it’s the Blitz, then in another moment you're with evacuated children being loaded on to steam trains, or sheltering from the bombs on the London Underground. It’s so immersive that it’s hard not to feel swept up in it all and admire the lengths these people went through. I feel like most things about the war focus exclusively on the army or the horrors of the Holocaust, which is what’s always put me off as it feels a bit like an excuse for glorification of violence instead of empathy for what these people were actually put through, you know? And that’s exactly what Eden Camp doesn’t do. It covers all aspects of the war from the home front and how the people left behind were affected, as well as the wider picture of what was happening around the globe.

When you look at this stuff and the things that made up peoples lives and the way society was, it feels like such a huge difference to today. Like I know it was 80 years ago, but the world changed so very much just between 1940 and 1970, and 1970 doesn’t seem as long ago, you know? And yet it’s only 30 years apart. Which is the same equivalent as 1991 is to us today, and yet the difference between 1991 and 2021 doesn’t seem as vast as the differences between 1940 and 1970. It just really fascinates me how quickly and how much things changed, both in terms of social attitudes as well as more superficial things like how stuff was made and what was available to people. Like even when there was extreme rationing, things were still well made and expected to last and made of proper materials and the government took steps to ensure that no one was overcharged for these things. Like, can you even imagine???

Sunshine, rag time, blowing in the breeze

I meant to post about this sooner, but I went to the antiques center last week! I last went in December 2019, and I always love taking photos and seeing how much it's changed every time I go. Especially this time as you can imagine with the whole pandemic it felt very different! I used to come out of these places with armfuls of things, but I'm definitely more chill nowadays and I just really like looking at quirky old stuff and seeing how things have changed over time (or not!) and thinking about the kinds of people who maybe owned it before. Especially as these places always get me thinking about consumerism and how much old stuff exists and how much new stuff is constantly being made, and how all of these lovely old things often end up in garbage dumps or left to rot in attics and how unsustainable it all is. Which really bums me out so I try to only buy stuff that I want to give a forever home.

I'm really into bears lately, and I love old carved stuff like this that looks handmade.

I've been admiring this painting for years! It used to be at another antiques place locally, now it's moved to here, and I swear I've been looking at it for about 6 years so it always makes me really happy to try and spot where they've hung it up this time. I'm going to be so disappointed when it sells.

I love old packaging design, and this iron was tiny. I did think about getting it as it would literally be perfect for travel, but it was super heavy which isn't airline friendly.

I've never seen canisters specifically for different types of sugar before.

We'll make it beautiful

I traveled to London yesterday to go to the theater and I can't believe how long it's been since I've been able to type that!! It all felt a bit weird and surreal all day as I haven't been to London since coming back from Japan. I haven't been much of anywhere really and I did feel anxious and a bit of reverse culture shock because I've become so used to navigating Tokyo and Japanese etiquette and customs that things kept taking me by surprise and I found myself unsure of what to do. I posted about it on my Instagram stories and I had a couple of my friends from Japan messaging me to say they've felt the same since returning home so at least it's not just me!

I went to see Heathers which is a show I've wanted to see for years as I really love the cast recording. To be honest I'm not often drawn to musicals based on movies, there's been a lot of them lately which is kind of it's own gripe. I think Heathers works better as a musical though as it's such heightened reality anyway, although to be fair I've never much liked the movie so it's not too hard for it to be an improvement to me. The issue I often have with musicals I've only ever listened to and not actually seen is because I'm such a visual person I kind of make up my own version of it in my head because I don't know how it's staged (I don't like bootlegs personally, watching something through someone's shaky phone camera where they're constantly zooming in and out is not a fun time for me). So sometimes actually seeing the show can be a bit of a letdown compared to what I pictured, but this wasn't and I really enjoyed it!

The time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say

Photos from this week! It's been a pretty relaxed one overall, which has been nice. It's been cold and I've just wanted to stay inside and be cozy and do slow activities like read and paint.

I collected some moss from my little Totoro terrarium! I wasn't going to as the moss always dies, but I'm determined to look after it better this time as i just love how it looks. I used to put stuff on the glass to stop the condensation, but I actually prefer it? It makes more sense for Totoro to be holding his umbrella!

I'm really trying to make an effort to read more, I used to be an avid reader growing up, at least a book a week and I don't know what happened but I miss it. I found a bunch of my old books in a cupboard, I think this is the first Stephen King book I ever read? And I've read most of them now except the Dark Tower series! I got this because I remember Iliked the movie of Secret Window. I'm not rereading all of the novellas, just The Library Policeman which I remember as being the creepiest.

I painted this money pot. I've been wanting one of those savings pots that you smash to enter for a while as I'm bad at raiding my savings, but they all come with such tacky designs. So I painted over it. It's not perfect, but I wasn't after creating a masterpiece as I still have to smash it up some day!

Oh, Chops. He's a villager I had back in Animal Crossing New Leaf, and when I got New Horizons he was the first villager to my campsite so it kind of felt like he'd come over from my old Island. We became pretty good buddies (I like the smug villagers for some reason) but when I wanted another campsite villager to move in he got kicked off and I felt SO BAD. I regretted it instantly and kept hoping to find him on a Nook Island, but I gave up and decided to just get his Amiibo card. He is kinda ugly, but I love him anyway.

My new Filofax arrived and I had fun putting it all together. I love notebooks and organisation so much!! I've even thought about starting a "study gram" on Instagram for the longest time.

An albino squirrel that currently lives down our lane. He seems to have poor eyesight so I hope he makes it!

“Stop trying. Take long walks. Look at scenery. Doze off at noon. Don't even think about flying. And then, pretty soon, you'll be flying again.”

One of the things I really wanted to do the most in Japan was visit the Studio Ghibli Museum as I'd missed it the first time I came to Tokyo which I was super gutted about. You've always had to pre-book tickets through the convenience store Lawson, and they're only released so far in advance and it's just a whole process that I wasn't prepared for and so it was really high on my priority list this time round. Then Covid happened and it shut, and then while locked down they decided to do some renovations and keep it closed longer and it was basically closed for the entire time I lived in Japan and I thought I was going to miss out on it again. Until!! They announced they were opening mid-January, 2 weeks before I was due to fly back to Europe. Serendipity!

The building itself is completely magical, I don't know how else to describe it it's just so whimsically built and full of tiny details even down to the doorknobs and Jiji shaped faucets. Some of it's almost like a maze with tiny doors you have to crouch to go through and spiral staircases that lead to no where in particular. There's all kinds of different rooms, from detailing the history of the company and how the animations are made, to all of the behind the scenes artwork and research that goes into everything. This was my favorite bit as it's set out like spaces where the artists are in the middle of working and like they just got up for a break, and the walls are covered in genuine concept work, story boards, and background art. I found it so, so inspiring, so much that I even bought a set of the watercolors the artists use (the Japanese brand Holbein of course). There were photo albums to flick through of the photographs the researchers had taken on locations, shelves of books they used as reference (nothing specific either, just books about birds or certain cities that are the kind of thing you'd probably overlook at the thrift store). I think the reason I found it so inspiring was because there wasn't any fancy expensive equipment or tools so it all felt really accessible and realistic. It made me want to thrift a bunch of books and paint from them as reference, and I loved seeing that all of the fantastical locations and creatures in Ghibli movies are based on things so mundane.

They also have a movie theater showing exclusive short movies that are only viewable at the museum, I think there's 8 or so that they rotate through? The one I saw was about a caterpillar and you saw him hatching and experiencing the world for the first time and it was so cute! It also had no speech, just sound effects, so you could understand it in any language which I thought was smart although I don't know if they're all like this.

Photos are only allowed outside of the museum, which on the one hand I was kind of bummed about because I'd of loved to photograph the artists rooms in detail, but it's also really nice because it makes it more immersive and you're not slowed down by people taking selfies. You can also buy a photo book like I did for ¥1000 which is well worth it.

Evil is always more easily imagined than good, somehow

It's absolutely no secret that I adore the musical Wicked, and as soon as I rediscovered it back in 2018 I was eager to read the book it's based on. I knew before going in that the book and the musical were almost completely different and that it was a lot deeper and darker, but I was excited nonetheless for any additional character development and to perhaps better understand elements of the musical that might otherwise be subtle or seem irrelevant (such as the Time Dragon! I never really realised the musical is supposed to be taking place inside the Time Dragon, I just thought it was a cool piece of stage design and that the cogs were for a more steampunk aesthetic. Turns out it serves a purpose!) Although I read the book a while ago now, I’ve been getting into BookTube and watching book reviews which made me want to put my own thoughts out there - especially as I want to start reading its sequel soon, so I want to preserve my thoughts before they get muddied by that! There will absolutely be spoilers ahead, so read at your own risk!

Also as a bit of a disclaimer if it wasn't obvious, but I can't help but make comparisons with the musical and view the book through that lens. Like I said, I knew they were different before I read it but I love the musical, it's my all time favourite, and I have a lot of personal history and meaning attached to it. In all honestly I doubt I'd of ever even read this book if I didn't, and I certainly wouldn't of persevered with it as much as I did without already having that interest and connection to the characters, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ you get what you get!

For anyone who hasn't seen the musical or read the book and has decided to read this anyway with no idea what I'm talking about - Wicked: The Life and Times of The Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire is essentially a prequel to L Frank Baum's novel and the MGM movie The Wizard of Oz. It serves as an alternative take on the land of Oz, what went down before Dorothy dropped in, and gives a backstory and motivation to the Wicked Witch of the West (who is nameless in Baum's Oz but now named Elphaba after Baum's initials: LFB) and why the Wizard wanted her killed. Although The Wizard of Oz is family fun for all ages, the book of Wicked is very much an adult take on events.

The book is very political which I really loved and felt it perfectly matched the original Wizard of Oz books, as despite being seen as for children and nothing deeper Baum was very politically active and wrote them as social commentary for his own time so it feels appropriate that this should be updated to more modern issues: there’s the racism surrounding Fiyero and the general xenophobia of him being an indigenous “Winkie” (which is now a slur, the proper term is Vinkun and the Vinkuns themselves are all from various different tribes with their own cultures and languages so the proper term for Fiyero specifically is Arjiki. Although fictional, from the physical descriptions, the prejudice imposed on them, and the way their behaviour and cultures are described they’re clearly based on Native Americans, and the Vinkus is similar in terrain and landscape to the Great Plains). Elphaba is an Animal rights activist and becomes a full blown terrorist by joining a radical extremist group which blows up buildings in the Emerald City; there's a general sense of classism prevalent in Oz which is particularly noticeable when the characters are at Shiz University; Glinda is canonically gay and enters a marriage of convenience with a gay man to uphold both of their positions, the Wizard is an actual dictator, the prevalent use of Tik-Toks (which are robots basically) and the rise of technology and the paranoia that comes with that, religious divide, and that WHOLE SCENE at the Philosophy Club with the tiger orgy (yes you did read those two words right). Basically everything in the book is always a metaphor for something, which I'm not going to lie does get a little exhausting.

Throughout the book I both loved and hated Elphaba. Very little of the book is told from her point of view, and because of that she feels really elusive and we don’t really get to know her so she's difficult to connect with. Several elements of Elphaba's description are also a bit weird and don't make much sense and just felt like an excuse to make her extra strange and didn't really serve any purpose beyond that. When she’s born it’s implied that she’s intersex which is then never brought up again, and she has sharp teeth for reasons I don’t even know. It's just excuses to 'other' her more, and I wish it wasn’t there as it only makes her less human. The book does stick to the original Oz lore of Elphaba being burnt by water, and even makes the point of her tears burning her so she learns from a very young age to be emotionally detached because if she were to feel any extremes of any emotion and cry it would cause her severe physical pain and scar her face. Which explains a lot of her character and why she reacts the way she does when she loses Fiyero and was just a nice touch.

More than anything the book really made me fall in love with Fiyero and his relationship with Elphaba, and ever since reading it I’m annoyed by how badly he got shafted in the musical. I know there have to be some sacrifices due to run time, but still. He’s a huge catalyst between Elphaba and Glinda and deserves to be fleshed out at least a little. I also just wish that the musical had stuck to the very basic core of his character in that he’s an indigenous man trying to live in a white world, regularly the butt of casual racism and othered for his “ochre” skin colour (one of the characters literally says “I wouldn’t want skin the colour of shit” when referring to him, and Glinda is scandalized at rumours of her potentially dating him purely because he’s “dark skinned”) It’s a huge part of why he connects with Elphaba, aka the green woman who is also being discriminated against for her skin colour.

In terms of Fiyero it's also a very frustrating book. The narrative goes on and on about seemingly mundane details - we get about 10 pages describing a journey that offers no character development or movement of plot - but the death of Fiyero, a major central character, is just two paragraphs and one of the biggest events to happen in the whole book which is incredibly unsatisfying. Like, it's a major turning point to EVERYTHING that follows, why are you downplaying it??? Fiyero deserved so much better than that! Even Elphaba just gets one paragraph describing her death, and it began to feel like Maguire loved the world he'd created more than the characters themselves and Elphaba, Fiyero and Glinda were just a vehicle to introduce his own OCs to Baum’s Oz rather than because he had any real attachment to them. It's really annoying!

The second half of the book is the hardest to read, and in all honesty it's because it’s kind of boring. Elphaba is still in mourning for Fiyero and decides that she has to travel to his castle in the Vinkus to tell his wife Sarima that she had an affair with her husband, and it’s just kind of weird? I get her wanting to go somewhere to be closer to Fiyero and to see his family and what his life was like there, and I even understand her feeling some resentment at having the status of mistress and not being able to publicly grieve. But she’s openly hostile towards them, moves her own family in, and becomes hellbent on forcing Sarima to be friends with her because she wants her to trust her just so she can tell her she slept with her dead husband to ease her own conscience and it’s a lot and doesn’t make Elphaba in any way sympathetic or likable. Also compared to the preceding parts of the book which get really rushed over it’s tediously slow and the most drawn out. It’s the part of the book that I flat out disliked and it’s such a shame because I was super into it up to that point and was willing to overlook all of the negatives, but it really turns it from an incredible book to just so-so.

Overall this is one of the most exhausting books I've ever read and I was drained by the end and had to really force myself to get through the last 15 pages. Not because it was necessarily dull, it's just so much, all of the time. After Fiyero dies I had to actually put it down for a few weeks as that scene was so impactful for me and really broke my heart, and because it’s only glossed over you're never given time to process it. I guess it’s perhaps to represent the mystery Elphaba feels surrounding what happened, but it also means that even the reader isn’t sure. That’s really one aspect that I love the musical for and that they did right with Fiyero's character. I get that turning him into the Scarecrow creates some timeline issues within the entire Oz lore, and yeah it definitely gives it that fantasy fairytale ending, but I hate that the book essentially creates a mystery and gives the reader hope that Fiyero might be alive only to never deliver on that and just have it fizzle out. Although many criticize the happy ending of the musical, I’m not sure the gloomy “everyone's dead and that’s that” is any better, it feels kind of fake deep like when you’re trying to be an edgy nihilistic teenager. Whereas the musical is bittersweet: Elphaba has to leave and can’t tell her closest friend that she’s not dead so Glinda is forever racked with the guilt of not being able to save her friend and having to watch everyone rejoice while she’s hurting, and Fiyero has lost his actual body and sacrificed his position as Prince, his familial ties, and you know, BEING A HUMAN just to save Elphaba’s life so that they can be together. I don’t call that the happy ending that people seem to make out, and it’s one of the things I love about the musical as behind its catchy bops it’s often heartbreaking.

So for me the musical does have a better ending than the book, which slowly builds to this thing that you know is going to happen (Dorothy killing the witch) which Maguire rushes over like he did all of the other major plot points and it becomes really unsatisfying because it’s such a slog to get there and then it just ends. And if I'm going to read a sequel I’d much rather it be about Elphaba and a scarecrow version of Fiyero trying to rebuild their lives with all of the trauma they’ve both been through both individually and together and essentially going on the run together from a dictatorship led country, than about their illegitimate child Liir who I never really gave a damn about to begin with and why it’s taken until now for me to even have the inclination to pick up the next book in the series.

"'People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us.' he sighed. 'It's the people who claim that they're good, or anyway better than the rest of us that you have to be wary of.'"

Throughout the book I often found Maguire's writing to be a bit self-indulgent and needlessly vague. He creates these complex, deep characters and then refuses to fully reveal them, he sets up subplots that don't seem to go anywhere. He created a fully-developed world with a political scheme, mythology, and socioeconomic structure, then forces you to try and guess at what is happening with it based on his chosen narrator's limited point of view. And yet despite all that it's also one of those books that sticks with you and I have to give it credit for that. Despite my frustrations with it, it's a very emotional book, and although I love the musical far more than I will ever love this I did enjoy the book too. Gregory Maguire's writing and use of emotion absolutely shattered my heart in a way that no other book has before, and there are elements of the book that I outright prefer to the musical, particularly in some of the characterizations *cough*Fiyero*cough*. I appreciate how it helped me to understand this version of Oz, it's politics, and the plight of the Animals better than what’s explained in the musical, and it gave me a much deeper appreciation for these characters that mean so much to me, and their motivations and character arcs. So it's definitely worth reading for me just for that, and I will re-read it again at some point - or at least the first half! It's actually a book that I think would make a really great movie or TV series, and I just hope that the musical doesn't overshadow it too much from ever happening! 

“You must go on a long journey before you can really find out how wonderful home is.”

It's slowly feeling more and more autumnal here and I can feel myself approaching my hibernation phase. Oh to be a bear! As I can't sleep all winter I've done the next best thing and have mostly been holed up with my illustration work and crafts.

I've been re-watching one of my favorite TV shows, BrainDead, which I realized I'd last seen two years ago in 2018! I'm having to use the US Amazon to stream it (thanks VPN!) as I guess because it's currently topical with the US elections that they've started charging to watch it on most platforms when it used to be free. Because it's been a while I'd forgotten some of the finer details of the show, and it really is hilariously funny. If you're into political satire I can't recommend it enough!

I finally finished my Snow Queen project which I've written about in great detail over here on my art blog along with all six of the finished pieces. It's been a lot of work as I was bubbling over with ideas during lockdown and am still playing catch up and digitally painting it all. I'm feeling a bit done with it all to be honest and am itching to work on something new but I still have about 8 different illustrations to finish.

I'm still working on my sketchbook, I drew these two portraits with ballpoint pen last weekend. I'd watched Joker for the first time since I'd seen it at the cinema and met it's director Todd Phillips, and that whole thing was just such an experience that I was worried my very non-cinema sized screen would diminish the memory somehow. And also it's just that feeling of wanting to savor your favorite things instead of over watching it, you know? It inspired me to draw the character though. When I draw I don't really see the whole thing as I just focus on the tiny bit I'm currently working on, and it's always such a wonderful feeling when I mentally 'zoom out' and see how it's all come together! I'm tempted to paint the drops of blood on his face and perhaps the clown make up too, but I'm worried about spoiling it and losing some of the detail.

I also drew Aaron Tveit because of watching BrainDead which he's one of the main characters in (and is the whole reason I ever watched it in the first place, let's be honest).

This is what I'm currently working on in my sketchbook, using actual paint for a change. I've been itching to draw something from Wicked - I remember seeing it several times a year, and how inspired I'd feel at the end of each performance and I miss that feeling so much! I dug out my old sketchbook to look at some thumbnails I'd messily sketched out in my car on the way home from London before I forgot, and this was one of the them so I decided to finally give it a go. I was a little worried the perspective wouldn't work, but it was one of those rare moments where the image in your head comes out exactly as you want it too! I love using gouache as it's so satisfyingly matte and flat once it's dry, and I can't wait to see how this painting progresses. I'm using a different sketchbook to my usual brand, and I do really miss my old one but I'm also enjoying being able to use more materials and paint in it. The only issue I really have is that because the paper is so much nicer I'm struggling to really fill it up as I don't want to 'waste' it - which is generally why I steer away from fancy sketchbooks in the first place!

I've also been working on my memory journal, currently creating a spread for BrainDead as I like to record things I've enjoyed. I've also fallen down a rabbit hole of watching people journal on YouTube which is incredibly addictive! Including k-pop journals, which really isn't my thing but I just love their enthusiasm and I admire it really. When I was a teenager it was a period where being passionate about anything was sneered at, particularly if you were a girl, and it's something that really stuck with me and made it difficult for me to express my interests as I constantly felt like I had to dial myself down to fit in, and I'm still trying to unlearn all of that. So although I don't like the topic personally I really admire how unabashed these girls are, and how creative it makes them! Creating journals and scrapbooks of things you like is nothing new, people have been doing it since the 1950s, but it's become much more aesthetic now and I love that. And it's just really fun keeping track of stuff you're watching, which songs you're particularly into right now, and your general feelings on it all. Our interests shape who we are so much that it makes sense to have a place to record it in a creative way.

This was not as nice as I'd hoped but I liked the packaging!

Otherwise I've mostly been trying to keep up with all of my other hobbies. The trouble with having so many is that there's always something to do, which is a blessing as I've never been bored in my whole entire life, but I can get a bit overwhelmed at how much I want to do and how few hours there are in the day! I'm currently trying to get back on track with reading as it's a hobby I've really struggled with over the years as the computer and other such devices have stolen my attention span, and I've actually settled into a great book after a few duds and feel like I've rediscovered the joy of reading again which feels so wonderful! I've also developed little habits like carrying my Kindle in my hand when I'm commuting to and from work which encourages me to snatch little moments when I'm waiting on the platform instead of waiting to pull it out of my backpack when I'm on the train if at all.

I'm also halfway through a knitting project, which I didn't take any photos of as it's not very exciting to look at right now on the needles, but it's a triangle shape and learning how to shape knitted items feels pretty exciting as I'm still a beginner. And I've taken up hand sewing after discovering Bernadette Banner's channel over summer. I've sewed for years, I've made many of my own clothes, I even studied dressmaking up to college level and considered making it my career and continuing it to university. But as much as I love the finished result of owning the things that I've sewn, I always venimently hated the actual process of sewing and it's just a means to an end, and often a very frustrating one that I try and rush through which no doubt only adds to the stress! So seeing Bernadette hand sew full clothing garments kind of blew my mind as I've always associated hand sewing with mending or finishing a hem. I was particularly inspired by her Lady Sherlock waistcoat and decided to attempt it for myself, although in a much different fabric as the Victorian era isn't really my vibe so I've also had that on the go in the background. I've loved seeing it slowly take structure as I quietly sit with it on my lap in front of a movie rather than hunching over a sewing machine, and it's gotten me thinking about all kinds of things I want to sew next! I'm planning a trip to Tokyo's fabric district in a few weeks and I can hardly wait.